Musing in Manhattan

Today in the midst of the wind and driving rain I managed to get my son to school just as the bell rang–Thank God, he’s not late.  Now begins my mission:  Get to the bus stop before the bus leaves.  As I near the boulevard I see him pull away.  UGH!  I decide that as he swings around to pick up the passengers on the local streets that I will pass him and meet him a few stops further –I can beat him there.  Congratulations to me–I caught the bus.  Actually I beat my bus to the stop and caught the earlier one somehow.  So I sit my wet self down in the first seat and put my wet bag of extra shoes on my legs and my umbrella tucked inside the bag to keep my pants from getting completely wet.  One stop later my single seat island of paradise is invaded by a woman who eyes the empty seat next to me.  She lines up her “opportunity” and in doing so her wet shopping bag smacks me in the head as she begins to move into the seat to sit (she doesn’t realize it) and her arm bangs me in the ribs as she finishes the job.  UGH! UGH!  Two shots to the body without any sorry and without my being able to even prepare for it.  “Good morning sweet heart she says.”  “Morning” I say.  Well, I guess she didn’t realize that she almost rendered me unconscious.  “Terrible weather isn’t it?” she says.  “Yes” I said.  “May I hang this over here?” she asks regarding her large handled umbrella.  “Sure,” I reply, thinking that she is going to put it in the corner of our seat away from my legs.  She lays it over my legs and hooks it onto the window just above my knees.  I am thinking:  Is this lady for real?  Now I am laughing inside because it is just unbelievable how my day is progressing.  She settles back into her chair as the umbrella drips on my legs.  I move it a bit so it isn’t resting on me, and she says:  “Oh I’m sorry.”  “That’s okay” I reply.  We are both quiet for about a minute and then she begins to rifle through her pocketbook. With each dig and shuffle of the items she elbows me in the side.  What the heck is she looking for anyway?  She is still digging and finally comes up with a compact.  She begins to fix her make-up.  I am not sure what for as she needs to go back out into the rain  again and she will be wrecked shortly thereafter.  I stare out the window as I contemplate how long the ride is going to be.  She puts her compact away and closes her bag.  Approximately 3 minutes after, she unzips the back again and begins to rifle through it–again elbowing me.  She pulls out her ipod and plugs in.  THANK GOD–she is going to settle in now.  I put my head back and close my eyes for a minute.  What happens next?  You know there has to be more of course, she begins to hum the greatest tunes of Bollywood.   Come on now-I’m thinking this has to be a joke.  She has to be working for some practical joke show.  I kept waiting for the next punch.  We were stuck in gnarly traffic because of the UN meeting in Manhattan so I endured an hour and a half of this ladies company.  She kept complaining about the traffic loudly without taking her head phones off”.  Everyone on the bus was staring at her and I was sinking lower into my seat.  About an hour into the trip her attention and everyone else’s was fixed onto a woman who had fallen asleep  in the seat across from us.  Her snore was as loud as a grizzly bear snarling at the world.  I was embarrassed for her.  She had no clue that everyone on the bus was staring at her.  That was until my partner said:  OUT LOUD–”I guess SOME PEOPLE don’t realize that they are disturbing others.”  “Isn’t that embarrassing?” I said.  I could not wait to get off the bus!

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