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Archive for April, 2009

Apr 20 2009

A Joke for Tax Time–Very Cute

Published by cherylannenelson under jokes Edit This

President Acts God

A little boy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.
Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill.

President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank you note to God, which read:

Dear God,

Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.

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Apr 19 2009

Three Women Stranded on an Island–a Joke

Published by cherylannenelson under Uncategorized, jokes Edit This

Stuck On An Island

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on an island.

For years, they live there, and one day they find a magic lamp. They rub it, and sure enough, out comes a genie. The genie says “since I can only give out 3 wishes, you may each have one”

So the brunette goes first, “I have been stuck here for years, I miss my family and my husband and my life - I just want to go home.” POOF, she is gone.

The redhead makes her wish, “This place sucks, I want to go home too.” POOF, she
is gone.

The blonde starts crying uncontrollably. The genie asks, “What is the matter?” The blonde said, “I wish my friends were here.”

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Apr 18 2009

Three Women Leave Work Early–Another Blonde Joke

Published by cherylannenelson under Uncategorized Edit This

Going Home Early

There are three ladies working together in the same office - a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. After a while, they begin to notice that each day their boss, who is also female, leaves work early.

After this pattern continued for a few weeks, one day they decide that as soon as their boss takes off they’ll leave right after her; after all, she never comes back or calls so how would she know? So, after their boss takes off they all leave as planned.

The brunette was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at her spa before meeting her dinner date. The redhead was thrilled to be home early; she did a little gardening and went to bed early.

As for the blonde, she was so happy to finally come home early for once. But when she got to her bedroom she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly, quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with HER BOSS! Ever so gently, she closed the door and crept out of her house without saying a word.

The next day during their coffee break, the brunette and redhead mentioned leaving early again and asked the blonde if she wanted to go with them.

“NO WAY!” The blonde exclaimed, “I damn near got caught yesterday!”

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Apr 16 2009

WIN One of Three Prizes Over at funforkids.today.com

Published by cherylannenelson under Uncategorized Edit This

ariel-butterfly.jpg

Hi all, wanted to let you know that I am running my first contest ever over at my other blog here on today.com.  Ella Bella Hairclippies has graciously donated three clippies for me to give away to my readers.  For your chance(s) to win click over to http://www.funforkids.today.com and find out how to enter.  The contest is running until MAY 1st and you can enter as many times as you would like!  Spread the word to all that you think would like to win an adorable hairclippie for the princess in their lives.  =)

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Apr 15 2009

Thirty Years Makes A BIG Difference

Published by cherylannenelson under Uncategorized Edit This

30 Years Difference

What a difference 30 years makes:1973: Long hair
2003: Longing for hair1973: KEG
2003: EKG

1973: Acid rock
2003: Acid reflux

1973: Moving to California because it’s cool
2003: Moving to California because it’s warm

1973: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2003: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor

1973: Seeds and stems
2003: Roughage

1973: The Grateful Dead
2003: Dr. Kevorkian

1973: Going to a new, hip joint
2003: Receiving a new hip joint

1973: Rolling Stones
2003: Kidney Stones

1973: Being called into the principal’s office
2003: Calling the principal’s office

1973: Screw the system
2003: Upgrade the system

1973: Disco
2003: Costco

1973: Parents begging you to get your hair cut
2003: Children begging you to get their heads shaved

1973: AVOIDING acid
2003: Taking antacid

1973: Passing the drivers’ test
2003: Passing the vision test

1973: Whatever
2003: Depends

AUTHOR UNKNOWN–but apparently is up there in his/her age!  LOL

Read more: “Something for Everyone on PNN” - http://cherylannenelson.pnn.com/6583-men-s-room#ixzz0CneqSQ2M&A

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Apr 15 2009

A Nun In A Taxi (A Joke for today)

Published by cherylannenelson under Uncategorized Edit This

A Nun In A Taxi

A cabbie picks up a nun. She gets into the cab, and the cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why is he staring and he replies, ”I have a question to ask you but I don’t want to offend you.She answers, ‘My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun a long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything. I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”

”Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”

She responds, ”Well, let’s see what we can do about that: first, you have to be single and second, you must be Catholic.”

The cab driver is very excited and says, ”Yes, I am single and I’m Catholic too!”

The nun says ”OK, pull into the next alley.”

He does and the nun fulfills his fantasy. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying. ”My dear child, said the nun, why are you crying?”

”Forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied, I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”

The nun says, ”That’s OK, my name is Kevin and I’m on my way to a Halloween party.”

Read more: “Something for Everyone on PNN” - http://cherylannenelson.pnn.com/6583-men-s-room#ixzz0CnS3IGFT&A

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